blughh

project is over - it went really well.

I'm now a week into decompression and I feel like crap.

I ache, I'm tired, the self loathing is at an all time high.

I have cooked lots of amazing food in the last week so eating healthily will be easy for the next 10 days and then I get to go away to the sunshine which will be lovely.  My exercise kicks off tomorrow with a pilates day which should be great and then I want to keep it going until I go away.

I know objectively that these are good things.  I'm just not feeling it right now.

it's been a long day...

...left the office at 10.30 last night and then worked the whole today from 8.30am till 9pm. My brain crashed so much that I only got around to ordering take-away about 20 mins ago.

tomorrow should be easier - I have a lie-in as the office doesn't open till midday and then going to Tara's in the evening to chill with lamb stew, good sci-fi and some beer!

first proper day...

... well, at least the first day where I actually set an alarm clock for 7am and had to get up! It's been pretty crazy today - we got more chum in (otherwise known as loot, but I like chum - it's the stuff that they throw to sharks to get them into a frenzie, which in an acurate description of what happens when buttons and t-shirts appear in the office!). We've actually had to shut the main office door to stop people just coming in and grabbing stuff!

there's also been a fair amount of crazies in - one guy was convinced he was from the CIA - Scott stepped in front of that crazy-bullet - I had the Canadian on the phone who was certain that Obama's policies where all drawn up because he'd rung in 3 months ago and told us to do things!

In other news, I've discovered grubhut.com (which is just like urbanbite) so I can now order sushi online - yay!

gonna stay here for a couple more hours and then head home for some food. Tomorrow I'm here and then going to see Neil Gaiman at a reading in Downers Grove. I know that it's the VP debate, but I figure that I'm going to be watching it online about a dozen times anyway, and this is my one chance to see Neil on this book tour (plus, I have tickets so it would be a bit churlish not to go). Am really looking forward to seeing Sarah Pailin "debate" though - her ability to sting cohesive sentences together is not her strong suit!

right - lull seems to be over, so going to get back to work now. also must remember to call my relatives and let them know I've arrived at some point!

there are times when it can be acceptable, if not pleasant to have insomnia...

... two days before you go away, when ill, with a project to finish is not one of them.

another nice weekend, but more chilled than last.

stayed in on Friday evening, after a crazy week at work. Although I handed over the project to the PM on Thursday, there is still much to do, so it will be a few more weeks before I can get back to doing work that I enjoy and know that I can do (less of the feeling that I've been given enough project to hang myself with would be nice).

spent yesterday mostly doing nothing apart from watching Season 4 of DW - it's even better after you know what happens to everyone and very sad.

today went to Regent's Park with Gourou and his lady which was lovely - and I learnt to knit! May even start going to Stitch and Bitch! Gourou also advised me about which new lappy I should get - Although my main one is good, it's big and heavy and I'd like something lighter that I can actually carry around with me - I'm probably going to get an 11.5 inch Toshiba of some kind - very light. It will also mean that I can take it to Chicago easily (although I'm still pondering whether to encrypt everything on it, or send a USB key ahead with my data on it, following the court ruling that US customs can copy everything on it without a warrant when I enter the country...).

this week is going to be busy, with lots of personal training, pilates, seeing friends, and the Free Summer Screening of Marriage of Figaro on Wed which should be great. I was trying to work out the last time I actually saw it all the way through and I think it was more than a few years ago!

lovely weekend...

... but need sleep now.

Friday and Saturday I was a judge at the National Finals of Debating Matters - an amazing debating competition for sixth-formers. All the debates were interesting and thought provoking, especially the final one, about presumed consent for organ donation - Do we have civil liberties after death? Does the State own our body or does our family? How do we increase public faith in doctors, and do we need to?

I seriously urge anyone interesting in raising the level of intelligent debate in the country to get involved next year - either as a judge or how about entering a team from your school if you're a teacher?

today was also great - a pilates intensive. Four hours of tuition, a reflexology massage and a delightful lunch - couldn't have been better (well, actually, a sunny day would have been nice!).

back to work tomorrow, but now I just need sleep!

UPDATE (22.48): ok now I need to go to sleep - stupid interweb!

approximately 10 hours after it arrived...

... I've finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I'm not going to put any spoilers here at all, only to recommend that people read it.

(also - once you've read it - let me know so that I have people to talk to about it!)

update: am really annoyed - most of the good sites have shut down until the 24th or 25th... if people don't want to get spoilers, then they shouldn't go on the forums - there's not need to shut them down!

ouch...

... well, today I had, what I can only call, my first proper clarinet practice: The first eight Demnitz studies for 20 mins and then the first three bars of the Mozart Clarinet Quintet for a further 20 mins.

by the end I was able to play those three bars at 84 bpm, with the right tonguing, phrasing etc... the correct speed is 120 bpm... oh well - practice makes perfect!

I now hurt, so am going to sit down for the rest of the evening...

a week of rest and soup....

... well, after the adventures of last week, I managed to get up for 3 hours on Friday (8pm - 11pm!) and then do nothing on Saturday. Sunday was lovely - we had a baby shower for Jude who is due in the next couple of weeks. It was great, but I faded quite a lot and needed much strong coffee to get me going again. So I've decided that this week is a week of rest.

I've got no work lined up (should be back at that next week), and nothing at all in my diary. I plan to rest, eat lots of soup, maybe try the tiniest bit of pilates, watch lots of DVDs and do a lot of reading. Bliss!

flip-flops and bombs... not a good combination!

my feet hurt.

I've had a lovely day - worked on a client site (second half-day in a row!) and then went out for a drink afterwards (yay!) and then had some food, and then had one alcoholic drink (I know that I shouldn't, but I had a blood test this morning and if my liver has improved - test results due on the 24th - then I'm able to drink again, and if it hasn't, then I'll be tested again in 6 weeks and one drink can't be too bad!) and decided I had enough energy to walk half way home (i.e. over a bridge and then get a bus for the not-so-pretty-or-safe part of the journey). I was in Soho, but decided that I fancied walking towards Waterloo Bridge (longer, but prettier walk then Westminster Bridge) so headed that way. It was a lovely evening, so I meandered a bit. Got to the Strand... well actually, I go near the Strand...

...there was a big bomb alert on Waterloo Bridge and the whole thing was shut off (well, they said "police incident", so I'm assuming it was a bomb). So I walked to Whitehall and got a 453 over Westminster Bridge after nearly an hour of walking.

and I was wearing flip-flops today.

and now my feet hurt (yes, I know I said that already, but they hurt a lot and so deserve another mention...).

In other news, I had the most lovely Easter weekend. It was Mum's 60th on Friday and I was over at theirs from Thursday till Sunday. Great party on the Friday, very chilled on Saturday, and then left to go and watch the Malaysian GP at Dunc's on Sunday. Ended up sleeping on his sofa after a chinese take-away and lots of movies and then watching Easter Parade on Monday before coming home. lovely!

aftermath of the longest day...

... wow - yesterday was long! started at 7am (yes, 7am) to be on a client site at 9.30. I worked through to 12.30 and then went home via the bank. At 4pm I left to meet Sian at Euston and we came back via the Chinese to pick up a take-away.

the plan was to watch some Buffy and then head to bed at about 9pm-ish. At 1am, we finally went to bed after lots of chatting, some collapsing on my part, and lots of Buffy!

in total, I was up for 18 hours!!

today... Sian left at 8am to head to the airport (she's going out KL for holiday) and I went back to bed. I've slept for most of the day, drank some coffee and the plan for the evening is some Civ2... lovely!

pilates!

well - today I've done a pilates class and it was fab! my teacher rang earlier in the week to see if I was ok as I hadn't been for ages and I told her the situation. She suggested that I come to a level 1 class, but only do part of the class - to build up my strength. She also told me not to bring my own equipment so that the journey was less tiring.

it was great. I stayed for the whole class, but only took part in about half. The rest of the time I did remedial and passive stretches, so as not to tire myself out.

am very tired now, but a good, healthy, kind of tired - in fact, I have more energy than when I got on the bus to go to class... and this is on top of doing two half-days of work during the week!

I'm going to go to class again next week, and if all goes well, I'll try doing the Wed evening class as well - but still only taking part in half of it (leaving the more powerful work for when I'm better).

going to spend the rest of the weekend relaxing... lovely!

another day written-off...

... urggg... spent most of the day in bed and have just got back from a cafe - I thought it best to try and get out, even if only for an hour.

tomorrow is a big day - am going to a client site to do some work - nothing amazing exciting, or well paying, but a really good test of my strength. hopefully I'll be feeling a lot better tomorrow.

I think a chinese take-away, an episode of firefly and then an early night with some NightNurse should go some way to helping.

a lovely weekend!

Mel's been here, and we've eaten healthily and been generally good. Lots of Buffy has been watched (starting at Season 1).

about to finish the season and to celebrate our healthy-ness, a chinese take-away is in order (and yes, I know the logic is a bit flawed, but deal with it!).

then an early bed, I'm a very tired girl from a busy week, but it's been worth it - I may have a day of paid work in an actual office next week!

still very tired...

... but feeling much better. Had a very relaxing day which involved making broccoli soup, having a long bath with Original Source Lavender (big thanks to Sian for the recommendation - it's the best stuff in the world!) and then an early dinner with M&D in town.

the cotton wool in my legs seems to have been replaced my muscles again (albeit very weak ones) which is nice and I think I may start to potter again tomorrow.

now I'm going to watch a very loved, but quite rubbish romantic comedy on DVD and then have an early night - bliss!

so I'm still up...

... I know I should be in bed. Everything is telling me to go to bed. There is nothing on TV (that's actually quite scarey). My eyes are red and hurting (which looks so good with the massive bags under the eyes - really would scare children if I was seen in this state). I'm tired.

and yet I'm not in bed.

I'm surfing the interweb for all it's worth, thinking about going to bed.

I think it ties in with the having-over-done-it-thing and the not-feeling-very-well-again thing.

I shall try and re-start the pottering again tomorrow. That should help. Oh, and I might feel a bit better as well. That would be nice.

one step forwards....

... and back again...

had a really great Saturday. Sat in a lovely pub in Bloomsbury and read a wonderful book. Then wandered down towards Clerkenwell to get a bus home. I was really hungry, so stopped off in a pub to have something to eat and got talking to a group of people. Spent the next few hours having a great time and left at about 8.30pm.

I knew that I'd overdone it a bit, but I'd had a great time, so didn't mind that Sunday would be a write-off.

didn't realise that today would be as well... got up at 2pm, managed to go out for a potter, but when I got to my chosen pub, I realised that I was too shattered to read and came home again. Felt like walking through toffee all day.

slept for a bit on the sofa and now going to bed.

hopefully tomorrow will be a bit better...

happy tired!

well, it's been a lovely couple of days.

had my liver scan, which the doctor said was fine, and been to two of the pubs on my list. The Harp was a bit rubbish and far too near to the Chandos for me ever to go there again, but The Ship and Shovell was great. Small, friendly and comfortable - will def. be going again!

have just watched America's Sweethearts which is a rubbish rom-com, but one that I love!

tomorrow I'm meeting up with M&D and then back for my blood tests (or bloodletting as my mum called it) and then a nice, quite afternoon and evening before heading to Camden to try Fifty-Five on Thursday afternoon.

hey - I think I'm getting into the swing of this not-being-at-work-thing. Now all I have to do is to be well enough not to need a minimum of 12hrs sleep and then hopefully I can start thinking about work - yay!